What heals my heart....

I've attempted to start this blog about a million times now...and words continue to fail me.

I mean really, I started to write this post at the end of January 2013, right after we learned we were pregnant with our second child, our rainbow baby, Isaac.

For those who personally know me I know you are all aware of my daily #isaacspam
 (I know, I know... I'm a little obsessed with that cute boy).
To those of you who have read my blog in the past and don't know me other than through this blog, we had another baby!!
Born September 21, 2013.
He just turned a year old and has been such a blessing to us.
He has really brought light and love back into our grief journey.  

Just a little note for those of you who aren't in the loss community or have never heard this term "Rainbow Baby" is a term often used in this community that refers to a the baby after the loss of a previous -miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss.

Rainbows illuminate the sky, bringing color back into what was previously dark and stormy. They do not negate the ravishes of the storm, but offer hope to those who have gone through the storm. 

That's what our little Isaac means to us.
Although we've gone through a tremendous storm of grief and loss after losing Peyton, we have our rainbow baby to now help bring us healing.

I do sometimes wish I would have blogged about my pregnancy with Isaac, but a lot of my posts bring so much emotion out of me that I needed to just focus on being healthy and sane for the sweet boy I was carrying. I kind of shut off my emotions in order to stay healthy.
Then after having him I have become a crazy, non-sleeping, runs only on caffeine MOMBIE.

I just haven't had time to dedicate to my healing process.
Today this changes.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month
and I have decided I'm going to be taking part in the
Capture Your Grief Healing Project
 (http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2014/09/capture-your-grief-2014.html).
This is a wonderful way for me to spend time reflecting and remembering my daughter Peyton Grace, as well as help bring awareness to this baby loss community that is so dear to my heart.

I am thankful everyday I have Isaac here on earth with me, he bring so much joy into my world.
This does not mean he has replaced, or made me forget about my daughter.
I still miss Peyton and think about her daily.
Sometimes I even find myself thinking...I can't believe my baby died.
I can say I am more at peace with her death, but I still have sad, hard days.
Which is why I want to take this opportunity.
I am no photographer and really not a writer, I just really wanted to spend this month focusing on my journey.
A little self-care to help my grieving heart.
I'll be following these prompts and using my blog as a healing tool and would love, love, love to share this journey with all of you readers again.